hmm..i'm bleeding..cuz of this stupid rack in my room..and i dun haf a good feeling bout it..it'll soon turn into a hard to heal wound again..wadde hell..i hate it..itz a deep cut..niwae..itz holidays now..hmm..but it doesnt feel like it at all..today the whole gaong came to play pool..hmm..had a good luff at jinhan..totally retarded..haaha..den after tht went piano..den went to visit lauma..hmm..and sth real sad happened..2 beds away..this old lady was on a breathing machine..i duno if it was normal but she looked as if she was trying VERY hard to catch her breath.but her family members seemed okie bout it.so i din think much..den out of a sudden..everyone shouted..den i looked over..she had brown fluid all over her face flowing out from the ventilator thingy..den i was like..OMG..the ward suddenly became so tensed up..all of a sudden all the laughter and smiles from tht family turned into tears..hmm..and i was like just too shocked..at first i thot it was some milk or sth..den my mum told me it was blood clots..and tht it was difficult to save her and stuff..and i was like damn sad bout it..i duno y..jus felt so sad for her..
anyway..guess this would be the last or at least the last few entries i'll be posting..cuz i'll be blogging no more..hmm..perhaps i'll still be blogging but not on this blog..i find it difficult to say a lotta things here..yea..till then take care my dearest frens..love yoo all!!=))goodbye.
Friday, May 26, 2006
8:35 PM
hmm..altho yesterdae was totally SCREWED..with so many things gg on..den had ccaco meeting damn late..den wasn't realli feeling well..guess my face was like totally screwed too..haha//den all the ccaco pple ask me whether i'm okie.but i'm jus glad the day ended well..:))..thot i was damnit late for the tj string performance..but nupenupe..got there JUST in time..hmm..went with val dixie melly and their partners..wakaka..omg..damn funny..haha..ooo..the performance was ok..but i liked the play and the last song..hah..damn cool la..the last song composed by this girl called chelsea..den she changed place with the conductor and she conducted..how cool rite????!?!?!?!=))den hor..got pple shout 'go chelsea!' den amelia's fren shouted 'go man u!'..hahahahahaha...lame..den i think amelia's dad said 'RESTPECT'..wakakaa..cute la..oh..niwae hor..i missed 2 full songs cuz got diarrhoea..haha..hmm..den after the performance..went city hall mac's with the rest..damn funny can?din eat much..den melly ate nuggets..den she got 2 left..den she tld nigel cannot finish..den he sa..ok..i'll keep it in my pocket..OMG..haha..den the fries oso..den he sae open melly's bag and keep inside..den haha..we opened the bag..and he realli threw the fries in la!!!den we all luff like siao.haha..den yea..went home..was so glad i met the la..missed them like duno wad..
den today had econs in the morning..rahhh..irritating..i duno wad the hell i'm learning la!haha..idiot..haha..den went macs AGAIN!!!den got gastric..f**k..itz coming back..very long nv liddat le..den now liddat..xian la..damn pain..den the guys WALK so FAST..den ask them to walk first they dun want..den make me luff..aiya..but feel so bad..they walk all the way to my hse and wanted to play pool but itz occupied..sorry dudes..next time tell me earlier..so i can book..hmm..realli sorry..yea..okie la..gotta go do stuff..tata..
12:00 AM
rahhh..i am so damnit pissed!!i cant believe i cant make it for passing and failing..OMG!!!but nvm..hmm..so there was invest..wahh..jus died walking on those heels la!OMG..wadde hell..and went for tj's invest..so tht's 2 daes on heels..my back i suffering la!poorthing..hmm..ohh.stephanie's the pres and yinglin's the vice!!omg!!how cool ya?hmm..and the performance put up by the seniors in tj was kewl..yea..haha..at least beta than our extra mile..haaha..some LUNATIC screaming the middle part..haha..with a disgusting voice..and her name is germaine..wakakaka..shhh..dun tell other pple..hmm..was blog surfing..omg..came across this post by some fren..omg..i feel damn insulted la!so yea..i finallly understand tht everything was jus plain FAKE??am i supp to come to that conclusion?or u jus plain FORGOT bout me..i dun think itz cuz u forgot me..so i guess it jus has to be you faking ur emotions??wadeva..hiding ur real self..jus in case u din noe..aint wad i'm realli interested in u noe?yea..hmm..think i've realli changed..wonder issit for the better oe worse..hmm..haha..but i noe i am starting to get bitchy?hahaha..wadeva..not realli bitchy but den agn..haha..shant elaborate..i mean..as much as i dun think i was in the wrong for wad happened..i m nice enuff to admit tht i was a lil in the wrong and apologized..so if my apology isnt accepted..i dun noe wad to do..hmm..and i dun noe wad issit u want..so yea..i shall jus shut up from now..is tht enuff???hmm..wahh..think my mood today is totally screwed..itz supp to be a happy day..i noe i'll surely enjoy myself later..cuz i'm gna meet my darling val melly and dixie!!omg!cant wait..but argh..y did tht thing hafta happen..and y did i haf to come across tht bloody blog entry?!?!?!i cant stand it..ahh..f**k..heck care..i shall jus try to be as happy as i can and enjoy myself..yea..RAHHHH....i miss tk loads..the people..the sofa..the music rooms..the den..the pianos..the foyer..altho NY is a nice place..haha..i dun feel as at home as in tk..i mean..i'm REALLY glad to be in 0603..cuz i think itz the best class in NY oredi..ahaha..at least all of us are normal..ahaha..with the except of some disabled and autistic pple..which both happens to be me?haha..yea..and met real nice pple in the council..so yea..no complains..but hmm...tk's still my 2nd home..rahhhhhhh..everything realli changed..i dun like changes...............................................................
Sunday, May 21, 2006
7:37 AM
hmm..think germ is going to haf depression..rahhh..haiyo..shakes head..already so stressed tht i'm not doing as well as how i shud be in mu studies..and also cuz of some personal problems..hmm..maybe itz al cuz of me thinking too much..rahh..den dere's so many problems at home..blahh..i jus feel that my life is so totally screwed up..someone helppp....:((..but den again..sth cheered me up..haf been going to TTSH to visit greatgrandma everyday these few daes..and ytd and today she woke up to tok to us..today was the best..she even asked for coffee..hmm..but it was kinda sad to see her suffering..tears in her eyes and stuff..*heartache*.i'm jus praying hard sth will happen and she'll recover out of a sudden..rahh..i think my migraine tht came was partly cuz i'm simply too stressed out by all these lil things tht i jus cant let it out of myself..and yea..maybe cuz i'm not telling anyone any of these stuff..hmm..itz not cuz i dun wanna tok to pple bout these to make myself feel beta..more like i duno hu to turn to..hmm..*crys*..ahh wadeva...and the germaine tan pple see outside is so cheerful and smiley and stuff..haha..itz not tht i wanna put up that front..but itz like hu wants to see a sulky and gloomy germaine rite?rahhh..help........
Saturday, May 20, 2006
8:10 AM
RAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!got diarrhoea!!!wad the hell rite?!!?i mean..gimme a break la!!!!!!!!!i cant take it..i'm disintegrating..haah..niwae..today is a screwed up dae..i cant be bothered to explain here..ohh..niwae..came back from my grandma's place..she said we shud jus let greatgrandma go cuz there's no point doing all these jus to keep her alive to suffer..hmm..i realli duno..at this point of time..i can jus listen to the adults tok..hmm..and grandma told me if ever shez in this kinda situation let her go if not she'll commit suicide..rahhh..den i tld her wad dad said bout pressing his nose..den she said.PRECISELY..u shud jus do tht to me too..i'm old..nvm..at tht point of time..i was like awww..i mean..i've nv pictured any of my loved ones leaving me b4..when grandpa died i was still too young to understand..i jus hope all my relatives will live as long as i would!cuz i duno whether i'll ever be able to live with them not being ard me altho they mite seem insignificant at certain points of time..but deep down i still love all of them..yea..rahhh..and my grandma..damn cute..she started tokking bout the funeral stuff!!for greatgrandma..den we were all like..HUH!!!not now la!den she said..beta now den itz too late..but we still managed to stop her...rahhh..i cant stand it..i'm falling apart!!!okok..niwae..HAPPY BDAE SYAZ!yup..gotta go..tata
Friday, May 19, 2006
11:53 PM
headache..headache..HEADACHE!!!hate myself for not resting enough..din go for the photog thing..and the council thing..headache..blahh..hmm..but i went down to TTSH to visit lauma..hmm..today seems to be a better day for her..at least she opened her eyes and spoke a bit..duno..itz jus u noe the feeling where there's this sudden gush of tears coming?yea..was kinda relieved when i called her and she responded and nodded her head..:)..aiya..i duno why the hospital wanna keep on asking us to make those very difficult to answer those very difficult to answer qns like..if she has heart arest..would u want us to revive her?argh..den hor..my amah sae jus let her go..but another relative sae cannot..wahhh..hmm..niwae..den my irritating and retarded dad jus had to break tht tensed up atmosphere..he brot me to the side..den he tld me..'next time hor..if papa ever become liddat..jus let me die..if cannot hor..den u go to my bed..pretend to do sth..den u press my nose and let me die..'..OMG..den i jus burst out luffing la!wad the hell..ahaha..den he say if he is hospitalised i must buy a lotta unhealthy food like satay..char kway teow..to let him eat..if not he'll be miserable..rahhh..cant stand his crapiness..haha..mayb tht's y i'm like so crappy!??!?!??!haha..niwae..had a long tok with him jus now..haha..damn funny..he's so like me..ahaha..he jus cam eback yesterday from las vegas..hehe..he bot a bag for me!!!he told me the whole trip he was oni looking for my bag la..so sweet..love him!haha..altho he bot a bag for my mum.but mine was he look SPECIALLY for me and mum one was he saw den buy..heh..nvm..trying to say i'm more impt..wakaka..yea..den the bag damn cool..can lock one la!heh..boohoohoo..my headache is so bad..i cant concentrate when i wanna study..so i guess i'm jus gonna slack this weekend..blahh..ohh and did i mention i got my laptop?haha..compaq presario laptop..hmm..i'm not used to it..and i keep on making it hang..in no time it'll spoil man!haha..opps..haaha..but itz definitely beta than the lousy com..yea..okayy..i gotta go...
Thursday, May 18, 2006
9:56 PM
wad the hell..i'm not feeling well yet AGAIN!had quite a terrible headache..so din go to school..reason?NOT ENOUGH SLEEP AND REST!perhaps cuz i tried to be a SuPERWOMAN yesterday..slept at 4am and oke up at 6.30am..ahah..cuz i was doing my bloody geog project..haha..den nearly died..haa..niwae..had invest rehearsal yesterdae..i duno y..but why cant the elects be less ji dong?everytime they wanna make a comment..all of them sound as if they are here to kill each other..haha..dear fellow elects..RELAX LA!altho i'm quite sad we cant play the music ourselves..and i was quite irritated at the fact they made meng and fat stay back and skipped their part..i'm realli sorry fat and meng..but haiyo..why they skip tht part?!?!hmm.niwae..i'm still like damn blahh bout many things..
greatgrandma aint recovering anytime soon..from tht infection she had since march..it started to spread..at first she still had the will to fight this 'battle'..but recently..it seems she has already totally given up on herself..refusing to eat for weeks..and wadz worst?the doctors dun noe the cause of some way she is reacting and needs to do many scans and stuff on her but she violently refuses..hmm..and she wanted to go home at first..but these few days she cant even be bothered to ask us to let her go home.she even told my aunt to let her go..haiz..and..duno y outa a sudden her liver is taking a turn for the worse..her whole body is yelllow..and shez like in a state of half-coma..shez not able to open her eyes on her own..not able to talk..but i believe she is in tremendous pain..hmm..prays for her..and yesterdae mum and aunt went down to meet the doc..and the doc wanted them to decide if an emergency crops up would we wanna let her be in the ICU or would we want to jus try to let the doc do whateva they can on the ward bed and if in any case let her go peacefully instead of having those tubes and stuff to keep her alive..hmm..if i were there i really wouldn's noe wad to sae..but hmm..guess the final decision made was to let her go peacefully..blahhness...
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
6:11 AM
BOO!i'm jus too tired to think..too much things going on in my mind..i duno how long more i can withstand this kinda life..i duno how long more i can stay alive and try to look energetic..i realli duno..blahhh..finally got back my geog 2day..i passed..but aint realli happie bout it..i duno why..itz not cuz i din score as well as the others..i mean..COME ON!since when did germaine tan yin lin actually compared her results to others???i mean..i dun believe in comparing..hmm..invest is real near..hols are coming soon too..i cant wait..i realli need a break..as in a break mentally..if not i think i will BREAK DOWN mentally..yea..so much to do yet so little time..tht's wad everyone says..is tht an excuse???shruggs..hmm...i still got to do my blooody geog CA thingy bout earthquakes..blahhh..wadeva
feeling kinda i duno..i'm not sad..perhaps jus more emotional?have u ever seen a person jus giving up on herself?and dun haf the will to live anymore?wad would u do to help?
